Unwanted life changes. New responsibilities to be faced alone. Looming deadlines. We can cope with such things. Sometimes we can feel we are doing well, considering the circumstances. At other times we perform in a kind of fog and pressured necessity. There is always hope, envisioning that things will be better. But how long? How long, Lord?
For me, twenty years have passed since the writing of two very different poems. Usually, I write positive thoughts. But, one lonely night, I wrote something far different. That poem came to mind today as I was thinking about, and praying, for someone in a similar situation. Below are the two poems. Note, the positive poem, listed last, was written before the negative one.
What I know is that the latter poem is truth. It has been proved. This could be a Thanksgiving theme, really! It was written as a hymn text, “Our God is Faithful.”
Here is the e-mail note I sent today to the person I was thinking about and praying for.
Dear—,
You must have so many things to do as you prepare to leave your home for another. I know the strangeness of being alone in a place that is not "home." Usually, that did not bother me. But I remember one night when I was alone in my apartment. It probably was after I'd been back in Ohio, in Berea, after being with Youth With A Mission in Arkansas. I had a strange feeling of displacement. I'll share this poem with you. It is uncharacteristic of my other writing.
TONIGHT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH
(OH, ME!)
The world turned upside-down
in eighty-three.
Long been making the best
of what will always be—
Something
I never wanted
to be:
Something I can
never change.
It's strange.
Oh, me!
Long ago,
I told the kids,
"Home
will always be
wherever
We
may happen
to be."
But, tonight,
That's not enough.
Oh, me!
Just now,
heard a noise in the hall.
This place is large,
but small.
I knew the disturbing
sound of life
had nothing to do
with me.
Other people
live here too.
Oh, me!
Some things from home
are here.
The kids are not.
Still,
We love each other
a lot.
But, tonight,
that's not enough.
In this crowded
solitary spot—
It's not.
Heard my heart
make a silent wish,
like a kid suddenly
running for comfort,
"I want to go home."
But where is home?
Yes?
Where is home?
Heard my heart
whisper a reply
I did not wish
To hear:
"Better get used to the idea,
This place
is as much home,
on earth,
as there will ever be."
Tonight, that's not enough.
Oh, me!
—Nancy Spiegelberg
© Nancy Spiegelberg 1994
But, then. There are better helps and hopes that must be remembered. They can help overcome the loneliness and longing.
OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL
All you who worship here,
Know this. Our God is faithful.
He’ll keep you safe from doubt and fear.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
Trust Him when minds can’t comprehend.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
Our Lord is changeless to the end.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
In loving thoughts God turns toward us.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
He demonstrates His faithfulness.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
In Jesus Christ, The Faithful One,
We know our God is faithful.
God finishes all things begun.
Know this! Our God is faithful!—
For me, twenty years have passed since the writing of two very different poems. Usually, I write positive thoughts. But, one lonely night, I wrote something far different. That poem came to mind today as I was thinking about, and praying, for someone in a similar situation. Below are the two poems. Note, the positive poem, listed last, was written before the negative one.
What I know is that the latter poem is truth. It has been proved. This could be a Thanksgiving theme, really! It was written as a hymn text, “Our God is Faithful.”
Here is the e-mail note I sent today to the person I was thinking about and praying for.
Dear—,
You must have so many things to do as you prepare to leave your home for another. I know the strangeness of being alone in a place that is not "home." Usually, that did not bother me. But I remember one night when I was alone in my apartment. It probably was after I'd been back in Ohio, in Berea, after being with Youth With A Mission in Arkansas. I had a strange feeling of displacement. I'll share this poem with you. It is uncharacteristic of my other writing.
TONIGHT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH
(OH, ME!)
The world turned upside-down
in eighty-three.
Long been making the best
of what will always be—
Something
I never wanted
to be:
Something I can
never change.
It's strange.
Oh, me!
Long ago,
I told the kids,
"Home
will always be
wherever
We
may happen
to be."
But, tonight,
That's not enough.
Oh, me!
Just now,
heard a noise in the hall.
This place is large,
but small.
I knew the disturbing
sound of life
had nothing to do
with me.
Other people
live here too.
Oh, me!
Some things from home
are here.
The kids are not.
Still,
We love each other
a lot.
But, tonight,
that's not enough.
In this crowded
solitary spot—
It's not.
Heard my heart
make a silent wish,
like a kid suddenly
running for comfort,
"I want to go home."
But where is home?
Yes?
Where is home?
Heard my heart
whisper a reply
I did not wish
To hear:
"Better get used to the idea,
This place
is as much home,
on earth,
as there will ever be."
Tonight, that's not enough.
Oh, me!
—Nancy Spiegelberg
© Nancy Spiegelberg 1994
But, then. There are better helps and hopes that must be remembered. They can help overcome the loneliness and longing.
OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL
All you who worship here,
Know this. Our God is faithful.
He’ll keep you safe from doubt and fear.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
Trust Him when minds can’t comprehend.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
Our Lord is changeless to the end.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
In loving thoughts God turns toward us.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
He demonstrates His faithfulness.
Know this. Our God is faithful.
In Jesus Christ, The Faithful One,
We know our God is faithful.
God finishes all things begun.
Know this! Our God is faithful!—
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